The Day That I Died
by Ms. Realista
Summary: I didn’t know that I would die that day. But I swear it was the happiest day of my life.' My first angsty fic. One-shot.post- OotP. OotP spoilers.Please R&R!


**Disclaimer:** I own...uhh....lets see...nada. zilch. zero. nothing. get it? the only thing I do own is the plot. The Title isn't even mine! It's Good Charlotte's! It's a title of their song "The Day That I Died" so there....

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**The Day That I Died**

Harry was in trouble. Despite everyone's protests to me coming along to save him, I went. I would never forgive myself if I didn't go. I knew _you _wouldn't forgive me if I didn't go to make sure your son lived through this. I didn't know that I would die that day. But I swear it was the happiest day of my life.

My body's tired, my mind is exhausted, and I don't know if my heart can take any more blows. I'm just so happy that it's all over for me and I can rest. Maybe I can pull a few pranks with you in the afterlife. Sure I knew that I was leaving Harry behind, but Remus would take care of him. I knew that. He probably would take better care of him than I did. But still, I saw his face as I fell through the veil. It was a look of pure shock. I'll never forget it. Despite all that, today was the happiest of my life.

Life had always been unusually cruel to me. My family was rooted in the Dark Arts and in the pureblooded beliefs. I hated those beliefs- I still do. It started when I was nine. I started to question all of the things that my mother kept drilling into my brain. I just didn't understand why people who were of different blood weren't as worthy as I was. I asked my mother countless times. She knew I was questioning what they all believed in, but it was just the beginning. I was sorted into Gryffindor, because I met you on the train, I liked how you were a pureblood like me but didn't believe in the things my family did, and I wanted to stay friends with you. I knew that wouldn't happen if I was sorted into Slytherin, so I begged the Sorting hat to put me into Gryffindor. Boy, I still remember the howler my mother sent me when she found out. I still questioned her about the roots of our family. I asked her if we could change our family motto. I'm sure that if I weren't 11 at the time and due to go back to school the next day, she would have used a very painful curse on me.

As I got older and older, the questioning turned into full-blown arguments. When I was in my teens, the arguments had come to include plates, cutlery, mugs, pots and pans being thrown, and curses and hexes being shouted. I wished and prayed for an end to it all, but somehow, I lived through it. Actually, I know how I lived through it. It was because of you.

You kept me alive those days. It was the letters of reassurance, and the bond that we had which kept me from turning over to the wrong side just because I was so tired of the fights. You kept me in line, behaved. You'd probably say: 'Sirius Black, second in command of the Marauders, in line? Preposterous!' but it's true. If it weren't for you I probably would have turned over to the dark side, or ended my life a little earlier than the powers above intended, because of my mother. You were my best friend. You were a brother. Now, don't get me wrong, I depended on Remus as well. But, you knew _everything _about me. Some of those things even Moony, and definitely not Wormtail, didn't know about. But then... you left. You died. You were murdered.

I swear the next 13 years of my life were hell. I kept wondering what Remus was doing. What he did when the full moon came, what he thought of me and of my innocence. I just kept wishing that you would come and rescue me from that hellhole, but I knew you never would. You're dead! Gone- and it was Pettigrew's fault. Those weren't happy thoughts, so they weren't sucked out of me during my time in Azkaban.

The day I escaped though...well, that was by far the most exhausting day of my life. It really was. I finally decided to do the deed that I was kept in Azkaban for, and I came so close too, but then Harry, the offspring of my bestfriend, my godson, the mirror image of you, convinced me not to. See? Just like what you would have done, James. That thought kept me from killing the rat I used to call one of my best mates. Harry really is just like you James, but I can see Lily in him as well, and it's not just the eyes, his heart is just like hers. sometimes it was so hard to look at Harry. He reminded me so much of you.

You can tell I really, really miss you. Remus is here, but it's not the same. But hey, at least now we can finally see each other again after all of these years. I'm dead too. I'm leaving behind Harry, but I know he'll make it through without me. He's a brave lad. He's got friends who will do anything for him, and if I'm right, Ginny'll catch his eye. The red-head's a little like Lily you see. She's just as brave, compassionate, hot-headed, smart, and funny as her. Ginny even looks a little like Lily did when she was fourteen. I know Moony will make it- he's tough, and plus I've noticed something going on between him and my dearest cousin, Tonks. I never thought that today would be any different from the others when I woke up, but once I knew that I'd pushed Bellatrix too far with my taunting and she had hit me with that curse, I knew that today would be the happiest day of my life.

THE END

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A/N: Oh, and this is my first EVER angsty fic. I don't know if it's any good, or if it's really terrible, or somewhere in between. Tell me what you think...I need an honest opinion. Should I write more angsty fics, or should I head back to the drawing board before I do so? Please Review! 


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